It seems to be an American value, or at least a western one, that we always must be accomplishing something in order to be worthy. Someone once told me I had a Ph.D. in GSD (getting s%&$ done). I had a belief that if I stopped “doing” I wouldn’t be valued. This belief was confirmed when I met a woman who had three very successful adult children. She spoke about her son who had scored a 1600 on his SATs AND had written a best-selling book on how to improve your SAT scores. She surprised all of us when she complained “Yes, but what has he done lately?!”
We are all born perfectly imperfect and 100% worthy of love, but somewhere along the way we were taught that unless we are progressing in a tangible way, unless we are doing or accomplishing something, we aren’t worthy. In fact, it seems that when we do take time for ourselves, or simply rest because we need it (and deserve it!), that feeling of unworthiness creeps back in. Our work becomes less enjoyable because there is no time to acknowledge our efforts and achievements. Sometimes we turn to pleasurable but unhealthy behaviors in order to fill the void (food, alcohol). Either way, our lack of ‘doing’ is a deep wound of our inherent wholeness and worth.
What if you could feel worthy, just because you are you?
What if you could know in your bones that you are good enough, just the way you are?
Don’t let the critics get you down
The thing to remember, first and foremost, is that while you may not have begun this way, you now are probably your own worst critic. You were not born believing you are not worthy or good enough, this is learned behavior. Somewhere you internalized the message to “compare and despair”. When we compare ourselves to others, we will always find fault. We get so lost in the quagmire of comparison that fear of unworthiness takes us down.
The second thing to remember is – most people are feeling the way you are. We’re so worried others are judging us that we forget they’re in the same boat!
Remember – you took that limiting belief on at some point in your life, and if you took it on you can take it off!
Here are some ways to stretch that self-worth muscle:
- Take stock every day of what you are proud of yourself for. Acts of kindness or generosity, service to others or yourself, taking pleasure in enjoyment, etc.
- Working with a Shadow Work coach who can help you get clarity on where that low-worth message is coming from and transform it into a new, empowering one. It can be like scratching the surface of that old recording that has its tracks laid down inside of you a long time ago, and then adding new tracks.
- Dare to Rest Yoga Nidra – it is exhausting to not feel worthy! Yoga Nidra can help you restore a deep restful state where you can remember and awaken to who your authentic, brilliant, and powerful self is.
- Journaling – examine the negative messages you are giving yourself when you are not feeling worthy and explore their origins as well as their opposites.
- Learn how to rewrite your story. This is a powerful tool. You created your story, which means you have the power to change it.
You deserve the freedom to be authentically you, and know that you are amazing and worthy whether you are “doing” or not. This world, especially right now, needs you to know you are good enough. Show up fully, bring us your brilliance, visions, dreams and wisdom. You are worthy, you are good enough, you are necessary, and you are lovable just the way you are.