How to empower yourself through your stories
We all have stories about who we are and why. Our stories influence what we believe we can do and who we believe we can be. They define who we think we are – you are so much more than your stories
Your stories can have a big hold on you, from who you believe you are, to what you believe others think about you, to what you believe about others … your loved ones, your family, your friends, your boss, your colleagues.
Rewriting your story is a powerful tool, and a skill and can be a powerful step toward becoming an agent of your own life and to live an empowered life.
Here is how your story is created
You have an experience and whatever emotions accompanied that experience are then always associated with that experience. And then you assign a meaning to the experience. When you have had enough experiences generate the same emotion or feelings, the meaning you created around it becomes a belief. Once you have a belief it alters how you view the world and the people around you.
The truth about your story affecting your reality
For example, if you loose your temper because your partner failed to take out the trash, it’s likely you’re attaching some bigger meaning to a small disappointment. And that’s a sign some inner story has been triggered. That story might be that “your partner really doesn’t love or care about you”. And if that story connects to a deeper story about how no one will ever really love you, or that you don’t deserve to be loved, even the tiniest sign of neglect will become “proof” that the story is true — which will make a full trash-bin far more alarming than it has to be.
The power of rewriting your story
If you don’t get to release the charge of the emotions the experience gave you, you tend to have more of the same experience generating the same emotions. Eventually it becomes your reality and the way you view the world.
A major function of your unconscious mind is to hold on to the beliefs you have created and the values you have adopted. In any experience your subconscious mind filters what you see and what you feel about what is going on based on your beliefs and values. The power of re-writing your stories is that it will shift the filters your subconscious mind is holding up for you. It allows you to choose how you see the world and truly become an agent of your own life.
The hidden quiet judgement we carry for ourselves, becomes loud and clear in what others say.
Am I a Sleepyhead or do I practice self-care?
I am going through menopause and hot flashes frequently interrupt my sleep. I arrange my days so that I don’t have appointments before 10 am to allow my body to rest. When I get up “late” my husband greets me with a cheerful kiss and a “good morning my beautiful sleepyhead”. Some days all I hear in his greeting is criticism and judgment. These are the days when my own inner judge is calling me lazy for sleeping late. Other mornings I am greeted with the same cheerful words by husband and I hear love and support from him, these are the days I am in complete congruence that my sleep is important for my physical well-being and I am proud of myself for how I have arranged my life so that I can take good care of my body.
The only difference on these days is my inner landscape, and what story I allow to color my experience.
3-step process to rewrite your life stories and empower yourself
- The first step to living a life of choice is to recognize that you have “stories”. To become aware that you have certain filters through which you view the world.
- The next step is to take a step back and detach in order to separate the facts from your judgments and subconscious assessments. This is a step that can be tricky to do on your own. Ask a friend for help if you need it. Or schedule a session with me to get some help to get started.
- The last step is to re-write your story. Using the facts, and only the facts, write your new story. Write your story so that it will make you feel good about yourself and your world.
Learning how to rewrite my story has had a huge impact on my life with my husband. Where I used to feel hurt, irritated, or deflated by what he said or did, I now feel the love he has for me and I feel supported, appreciated and loved. It has been a game changer.
I want this for you too!