I Quit!

by | Mar 15, 2019

My teacher and mentor Cliff Barry always says “It’s good to feel fear when you facilitate shadow work.  It makes you a better and safer facilitator.”  In the first few minutes of a Shadow Work process, I am convinced that this is the one where I won’t know what to do.  This will be the time I finally screw up.  My fears and self-doubt are front and center and I  question myself.  “Why am I doing this? There is no way I can help this person! Why do I expose myself to this potential failure?  I should just quit!”

In the past, my fear and self-doubt would have run wild and prevented me from moving forward.  Quitting would be the “best” option, the safe option.  Today I welcome this feeling, it has taught me to:

  • understand that it is an indicator I am on the right track.
  • how to use my fear to illuminate where I need to go next.
  • that I am capable of leaning into my fear, knowing that right behind the fear is flow. A flow fed by a deep well of inspiration and intuition.

Even knowing this my initial reaction is still “I want to quit!”  The difference now is that the fear holds me hostage only for a few seconds, and then I remember I’ve been here before and I’m in the flow…

At the end of every Shadow Work process, I am filled with awe and compassion for the person standing before me.  In awe of their strength, courage, and willingness to step into that unknown to gain better insight into who they are and who they want to become.  I feel enormous gratitude for the privilege to have been part of this person’s deeply personal and transformational journey.  It’s been worth overcoming the fear and I am ready to do it again and again and again.

Here are some questions to journal on to change your relationship with fear:

  • How does fear affect you?
  • Where in your life does your fear stop you?
  • When you are on the other side of fear, what gifts are waiting there for you?


If you want to learn how you too can make fear your friend, sign up for a free 1-hour call where we will explore what is possible for you and if I would be the right guide for you on this path.


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